The Only Time It Is Appropriate To "Flash" Someone

Have you seen that one commercial for T. J. Max and Marshall where the woman is going up the escalator and the people going down start singing Christmas carols, but they change the words so it is about gifts? It is super corny. Every time I see it, I think to myself, "I don't understand why these people are singing. Couldn't they just yell over to her about the great sales that Marshall's is having? Is Ice Road Truckers on?" Well, the other day, I was watching one of my favorite shows on TV right now, Modern Family. in the episode, one of the characters took place in what is referred to as a "Flash Mob." This is when several people randomly perform a choreographed dance routine in a usually crowded place. After seeing this intense choreographed routine I thought to myself, "Oh. Maybe it isn't so bad to just break out into random song or dance. Maybe...just maybe...we all need to break out of our shells....I should probably just buy Ice Road Truckers on DVD because it's never on..."

So, I googled "flash mob" and one of the first results was a large group of people performing "Do Re Mi" from "The Sound of Music" at a train station in Berlin. It starts off with two dancers: a man and a girl that appears to be his daughter. At this point people begin to watch them with looks of disapproval. "Why are they dancing? This is a public location! There is no room for this hooligan dancing!" they were probably thinking (I'm not sure why they sound like Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter, but they do). Then several other people join in the dance. It is mostly couples so people believe that this is just an average choreographed dance routine with professional dancers and begin to get excited. Then, they see that their friends are joining in. "What's going on? This is madness?!" they scream. Next comes the big wave of school children down the flight of stairs who force the patron to the side of the railings as they shimmy their way down. Finally, all of the "flash mob" dancers join in the center of the station for a unison dance. You see close ups of old, homeless ladies, business men, hikers, teachers, teenagers, and several other odd combinations. The dance with a loud applause from the watching audience and the people continue doing what they were doing before as if none of it had even happened.

I need to get in on one of these. End of story.