On Saturday, our show choir season began. It was the most exciting experience ever. Let me tell you how it went down. First, we arrived early in the morning so that we could all watch our freshman group perform. They did a good job (it was their first competition so I wasn't really expecting a lot, but they actually sang and danced very well). Next, we watched our prep group perform and they were awesome! I had watched several groups before them and, to me; they were the only ones that really blew me away. The sound system that the competition used was very effective and caught their sound extremely well. It was obvious after watching the prep groups that they would take home Grand Champion.
Finally, at 3:20, it was our turn to perform. During the warm up, our director talked about how well our prep group had done in laying the path for our school. All we had to do now was walk down it. Everyone could feel it when we were warming up that it was going to be a great show. Once I got on stage and heard the roar of the crowd before us, I couldn't help but be ecstatic. Our first two songs were great. You could tell that the audience really enjoyed them and everything went smoothly (except I always have a minor problem with my dance partner's dress tear-off). Then, we got to our ballad. In our ballad we constantly work up to this big climax of the song. During that time, there is a beautiful solo from one of our guys. On the last chord, the applause was just amazing and by the time the song was over, everyone was on their feet. Tears almost started to fall from my face, I was so happy. The rest of the show went great, even though we lost a little bit of energy in the closer.
I want to describe the other schools, but in the interest of my own safety, I will change their names. At this competition, the two greatest schools in terms of competition were Fritos and Doritos. Fritos is a school in our town that was very good last year. They won several competitions last year, but it was rumored that they went to a lot of easy competitions. Doritos is the best. Last year, they went undefeated, because their show was just incredible. After day rounds, we were in second! We were ahead of Fritos and behind Doritos. Everyone was pumped. We hoped that maybe we would be the group that finally beat Doritos. Our finals performance was good. Personally, I thought it was weaker than the day show, but our director thought it was brilliant.
In the end, we ended up maintaining our first runner-up status. Would we have loved to get first? Yes, but we got second! And we beat Fritos! It was amazing and I can just tell that this is going to be a great season. We are Cheetos!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Not Everything is Exciting in Slow Motion
At work, there are certain types of people that you hope will not come through your line. They are the ones that terrorize you in a way that is only imaginable in James Bond movies. When they come through your line, your heart doesn't beat faster, they actually have the ability to make it move slower (eventually you might die from lack of blood circulation). Most people know that they should avoid this type of behavior, but others feel it is their right as the customer. They are: slow people.
I hate slow people. First, they come through your line with a wide variety of assorted groceries. Then, they place them each on the conveyor belt one by one until they have been properly sorted. This way, I, the unreliable checker, will not somehow put her eggs under her 20 pound turkey (like I haven't had weeks of training for that). Next, when I scan their groceries, we find out that they did not get a price on the almonds in the Organic section. So, I call over a manager and ask her to kindly go check it out. Then comes the awkward silence. I realize I should be an expert at silences, but I do not want to risk any of his/her slowness rubbing off on me. Once the manager returns, I scan through everything and it is time to pay.
Paying is the worst. If they pay with a check, I have to stand there and watch them find the checkbook in their purse, search for a pen (before I eventually give them one), write the check incorrectly, I correct them, write the check correctly, look it over for thirty seconds, and hand it to me. By then my arms have fallen off so I have to use my mouth to put it into the machine. If they pay by credit card, I have to explain everything. "Scan it this way. No, the other way. Nope, that's the same way. Try a little bit faster. Now, move a little slower. Try going down instead of up. Just give it to me. There, perfect. Congratulations on your ability to do nothing in such a long period of time."
I love stopping to smell the roses as much as the next person, but not at work. Society is a fast-paced dog-eat-dog world and if you just leisurely stroll your way through it, I am going to take the cane you are using and chase you down the hallway. Maybe, then you will realize how fast you can truly be.
I hate slow people. First, they come through your line with a wide variety of assorted groceries. Then, they place them each on the conveyor belt one by one until they have been properly sorted. This way, I, the unreliable checker, will not somehow put her eggs under her 20 pound turkey (like I haven't had weeks of training for that). Next, when I scan their groceries, we find out that they did not get a price on the almonds in the Organic section. So, I call over a manager and ask her to kindly go check it out. Then comes the awkward silence. I realize I should be an expert at silences, but I do not want to risk any of his/her slowness rubbing off on me. Once the manager returns, I scan through everything and it is time to pay.
Paying is the worst. If they pay with a check, I have to stand there and watch them find the checkbook in their purse, search for a pen (before I eventually give them one), write the check incorrectly, I correct them, write the check correctly, look it over for thirty seconds, and hand it to me. By then my arms have fallen off so I have to use my mouth to put it into the machine. If they pay by credit card, I have to explain everything. "Scan it this way. No, the other way. Nope, that's the same way. Try a little bit faster. Now, move a little slower. Try going down instead of up. Just give it to me. There, perfect. Congratulations on your ability to do nothing in such a long period of time."
I love stopping to smell the roses as much as the next person, but not at work. Society is a fast-paced dog-eat-dog world and if you just leisurely stroll your way through it, I am going to take the cane you are using and chase you down the hallway. Maybe, then you will realize how fast you can truly be.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Awkward Smiley Face : l
Awkward silences. They are pretty uncomfortable. For example, you might be working and you ask, "How's your day going?" and they respond with, "Well, I lost my job because I'm an alcoholic and my kids for the same reason. My own dog won't even look at me. Instead of barking like the rest of the dogs, mine just goes, 'Failure...Failure...'." The awkward silence that proceeds after that conversation would be quite catastrophic.
So, here are my friendly tips on how to stop awkward silences:
1) Try to have some handy conversation starters to get you going. Remember that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach and the best way to a woman's is to talk about laundry (that second part might be a bit stereotypical but still accepted by most people).
2) Once things start to get depressing make sure to bring up rainbows. If someone says, "How much do I owe you? I probably can't pay it because my landlord just kicked me out for not being able pay the bills but I guess I can-" you can always chime in with a, "You know, I saw a rainbow today. One of the colors was the exact pure shade or your eyes." And when they say their eyes are brown, you will have a chance to bring up color-blindness as another point of conversation.
3) If you don't want to be the one to say anything, try direct eye contact. Eventually, they will feel pressured into saying something like, "Why are you staring at me, freak?" This way, they will not be thinking about how awkward the silence is. Instead, they will be thinking about the awkward person staring at them. Everyone wins.
Personally, I think that the science behind awkward silences should be taught in schools. Right next to chemistry, it would be one of the most rapidly growing fields in the nation. We could do research on how the body reacts to creepy people or the amount of tears that come out of a person when they hear bad news. I would be able to find out which ones of my bad jokes might actually make people giggle instead of just randomly typing them out. The untapped power of the awkward silence is the key to a new revolutionary breakthrough in modern technology. Save the awkward silence, save the world (that was Heroes reference, thank you).
So, here are my friendly tips on how to stop awkward silences:
1) Try to have some handy conversation starters to get you going. Remember that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach and the best way to a woman's is to talk about laundry (that second part might be a bit stereotypical but still accepted by most people).
2) Once things start to get depressing make sure to bring up rainbows. If someone says, "How much do I owe you? I probably can't pay it because my landlord just kicked me out for not being able pay the bills but I guess I can-" you can always chime in with a, "You know, I saw a rainbow today. One of the colors was the exact pure shade or your eyes." And when they say their eyes are brown, you will have a chance to bring up color-blindness as another point of conversation.
3) If you don't want to be the one to say anything, try direct eye contact. Eventually, they will feel pressured into saying something like, "Why are you staring at me, freak?" This way, they will not be thinking about how awkward the silence is. Instead, they will be thinking about the awkward person staring at them. Everyone wins.
Personally, I think that the science behind awkward silences should be taught in schools. Right next to chemistry, it would be one of the most rapidly growing fields in the nation. We could do research on how the body reacts to creepy people or the amount of tears that come out of a person when they hear bad news. I would be able to find out which ones of my bad jokes might actually make people giggle instead of just randomly typing them out. The untapped power of the awkward silence is the key to a new revolutionary breakthrough in modern technology. Save the awkward silence, save the world (that was Heroes reference, thank you).
Me vs. It
Public bathrooms are disgusting. Back in the olden day when I was not a checker at Freddy's I would have to clean bathrooms every night. You would not believe what some people are capable of. One night, I opened the door to the bathroom, pushed my vacuum inside, and dropped it. I didn't even notice because I was too busy staring at the wreckage. It looked like a small rock concert had taken place with all of the stuff on the floor and random objects and liquids on the walls. Still, I was trooper and I cleaned it up. Did I actually clean the toilets off the way i was supposed to? Not quite, but I did it.
My main story comes next. One night, I was putting baskets away when the manager comes up to me. "Do you have a strong stomach?" she asked. Flustered, I told her, "Yeah, I guess so. Why?" "Well, we have a bit of a problem in the bathroom. If you could go take care of it that would be great. Thank you very much! Oh and it's the women's bathroom!" I walked away confused and wondering what this big mystery was. I waited outside the women's bathroom for everyone to be done and then propped the door open with a garbage can so they would know that I was in there. I looked around and it was fairly clean. There was nothing on the walls and the mirrors looked like they had already been cleaned off (I may have taken a moment to take in the insurmountable beauty that was my reflection). Then, I started scanning the stalls. I opened the first door and it was fine. It may have been a little low on toilet paper, but still it passed. The second stall was fine, too. And then, when I opened the door to the third stall....THE HORROR.
There, on the floor right next to the toilet bowl was....it. It seemed to be staring at me as if to say, "That's right. Pick me up...if you dare." Immediately my response was girlish shriek and a very manly, "EEEWWW!" I took a step back and then a step forward. A step back and then forward. Back. Forward. Back. Forward. Finally, I collected myself and thought, "SlimShaney, you are a big man. You can stand up to it and be the boss. Be the boss!" So, I took my newfound strength, found some gloves, wrapped some paper towels around them and picked it up.
My main story comes next. One night, I was putting baskets away when the manager comes up to me. "Do you have a strong stomach?" she asked. Flustered, I told her, "Yeah, I guess so. Why?" "Well, we have a bit of a problem in the bathroom. If you could go take care of it that would be great. Thank you very much! Oh and it's the women's bathroom!" I walked away confused and wondering what this big mystery was. I waited outside the women's bathroom for everyone to be done and then propped the door open with a garbage can so they would know that I was in there. I looked around and it was fairly clean. There was nothing on the walls and the mirrors looked like they had already been cleaned off (I may have taken a moment to take in the insurmountable beauty that was my reflection). Then, I started scanning the stalls. I opened the first door and it was fine. It may have been a little low on toilet paper, but still it passed. The second stall was fine, too. And then, when I opened the door to the third stall....THE HORROR.
There, on the floor right next to the toilet bowl was....it. It seemed to be staring at me as if to say, "That's right. Pick me up...if you dare." Immediately my response was girlish shriek and a very manly, "EEEWWW!" I took a step back and then a step forward. A step back and then forward. Back. Forward. Back. Forward. Finally, I collected myself and thought, "SlimShaney, you are a big man. You can stand up to it and be the boss. Be the boss!" So, I took my newfound strength, found some gloves, wrapped some paper towels around them and picked it up.
Big Randy and Sandra Sittin' in a Tree....
At Freddy's, depending on how long you are working, you get an approximate break time. So, if I am working for six hours I will get a 20 minute break. Well, since we seem to be talking so much about food in class, lately, I figured that I should talk about appropriate break food. First of all, stay away from fruits and vegetables. They are expensive! It is much cheaper to just by a whole pack of Twinkies instead of one banana. Remember, grease is good. The greasier an item is, the better. Whenever a whole, cooked pizza comes through my line I go, "Watch out! This smells so good I might just steal it from you!.........but seriously, give it to me." Alright, maybe I don't say the last part, but it's something like that.
Next, after you have selected your sugary, tooth-rotting poison, you get to the break room. Observe your seating possibilities. You could choose to sit next to Big Randy, the overweight dishwasher, but you remember the last time when Randy tried to swipe all of your green M&M's. You do not want another competition to go down because last time you ended up with your head in the toilet and no M&M's at all. Try sitting next to Sandra, the newly widowed woman who works in the bakery. Never mind, Sandra just pulled out the pictures in her wallet and started weeping again. Just sit in the corner with the kid who talks to himself. At least he is too busy to talk to you.
Now, do not eat too fast. Once you take your first couple of bites, you establish the rhythm at which you eat. You do not want to go over your allotted break schedule, because last time you had to scrape the previously chewed gum off of the back of each cart. That's a lot of carts...and a lot of gum. Try taking big bites, but between each one count to 5 Mississippi. If it is a fairly large item, like a birthday cake (you really have to plan ahead for that one) you might want to give some to Big Randy or Sandra. Hey, maybe you could start a little office romance between the two of them.
Next time you go on break, remember these helpful tips. Otherwise, you might end up like Big Randy and Sandra who aren't quite ready for love yet.
Next, after you have selected your sugary, tooth-rotting poison, you get to the break room. Observe your seating possibilities. You could choose to sit next to Big Randy, the overweight dishwasher, but you remember the last time when Randy tried to swipe all of your green M&M's. You do not want another competition to go down because last time you ended up with your head in the toilet and no M&M's at all. Try sitting next to Sandra, the newly widowed woman who works in the bakery. Never mind, Sandra just pulled out the pictures in her wallet and started weeping again. Just sit in the corner with the kid who talks to himself. At least he is too busy to talk to you.
Now, do not eat too fast. Once you take your first couple of bites, you establish the rhythm at which you eat. You do not want to go over your allotted break schedule, because last time you had to scrape the previously chewed gum off of the back of each cart. That's a lot of carts...and a lot of gum. Try taking big bites, but between each one count to 5 Mississippi. If it is a fairly large item, like a birthday cake (you really have to plan ahead for that one) you might want to give some to Big Randy or Sandra. Hey, maybe you could start a little office romance between the two of them.
Next time you go on break, remember these helpful tips. Otherwise, you might end up like Big Randy and Sandra who aren't quite ready for love yet.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Things are "Heating" Up!
Show choir season is almost upon us. Next Saturday, my show choir, the Sizzles (obviously I had to change the name, but I couldn't think of anything that clever....plus I am kind of hungry for some fajitas), will be attending our first competition this year. We are all extremely excited and not only want to perform our show but see other schools, as well. We have put so much effort into this year. We had to change our whole closer costume (based upon the requests of some disgruntled choir members). We had one of the best coaches in the world to our school to do a clinic with us. We have practiced for hours and hours getting pitches correct, clean choreography, the right tone, and spot-on facials. The world of show choir is much like that of a military base only much easier.
The main thing that we are nervous about for Saturday is simply that all of the pieces of our show will come together perfectly. The show involves a lot of help from not just the performers, but also the crew and band. Thankfully, we are lucky to have a great crew and a very talented combo. Still, what if a shoe goes flying? What if I trip and fall and bring two people down with me? What if my smile is too perfect? (Okay, that last one probably isn't going to happen, but I can dream) To most people surprise, show choir is taken very seriously. Although I like the show Glee, I feel that it sometimes lacks the competitiveness of real show choir and the age-old rivalries between schools.
The Sizzles have always had a good name when it comes to show choir. Some people say, "Oh boy! It's the Sizzles! They are on fire!" Sure, it doesn't have the same witty pun with the actual name, but I think my point has been proven. We all hope that we can live up to the name that surrounds us and not let the flame burn out (again, I am just on a roll with these fire puns). Still whether we win or lose, I think that we all know that we have prepared ourselves the best way that we could and we couldn't be more proud. And you know what they say....Proud Mary keep on Burnin'! (Gosh, I should just sit at home and write witty puns for a living. Goodbye, college)
The main thing that we are nervous about for Saturday is simply that all of the pieces of our show will come together perfectly. The show involves a lot of help from not just the performers, but also the crew and band. Thankfully, we are lucky to have a great crew and a very talented combo. Still, what if a shoe goes flying? What if I trip and fall and bring two people down with me? What if my smile is too perfect? (Okay, that last one probably isn't going to happen, but I can dream) To most people surprise, show choir is taken very seriously. Although I like the show Glee, I feel that it sometimes lacks the competitiveness of real show choir and the age-old rivalries between schools.
The Sizzles have always had a good name when it comes to show choir. Some people say, "Oh boy! It's the Sizzles! They are on fire!" Sure, it doesn't have the same witty pun with the actual name, but I think my point has been proven. We all hope that we can live up to the name that surrounds us and not let the flame burn out (again, I am just on a roll with these fire puns). Still whether we win or lose, I think that we all know that we have prepared ourselves the best way that we could and we couldn't be more proud. And you know what they say....Proud Mary keep on Burnin'! (Gosh, I should just sit at home and write witty puns for a living. Goodbye, college)
You Know...I Speak Whale...
Chinese is a difficult language. While I was working the other day, I could overhear the servers in the Chinese department talking loudly in strange voices. When I realized they were speaking another language, I looked over at them and they were looking at me. Unlike the rude Chinese people who were staring at me, I quickly turned away and tried to pretend like I was wiping off the counter (unfortunately, I grabbed a magazine, so it probably did not look that convincing). I thought to myself, "They could be saying anything about me. Hey, look at the kid with the neck that is too large for his head! Is he a turtle-neck model or is it just naturally that way?" Who were they to point at me and speak in a different language? You don't see me pulling out the old Swahili and going, "Click, Click, Click," towards other people! Main point of blog post: language barriers are a bad thing.
In school I take Spanish. I am pretty good at it. I can conjugate all the necessary forms of certain verbs and tell you which one goes with what person, but once I hear it I am lost. One time, we were doing a listening assignment and we were expected to listen to a recording of a woman's day and say what she did. After listening to the tape, I was pretty sure she had been driving to her sister's house to pick up her garbage because she was handicapped and couldn't reach the front door. Apparently, that was wrong! She was buying a hotel! I guess that explains the elevator, but still! It made no sense to me!
The solution I would like to offer in response to language barriers is this: wave your hands around as much as possible. If I am speaking to someone and I want to know where the restrooms is, I can usually get my point across pretty well. Also, it might be useful to bring up things that all countries share. If I am looking for the nearest Copacabana, I might just hum a few bars of that beloved Barry Manilow hit that changed our lives so many years ago. Another option is to simply yell, "ENGLISH!?" really loud until someone says, "Stop yelling!" There, ask that person for directions. Guiding your way through different languages may be tough but just remember that we all speak one language: love....and television.
In school I take Spanish. I am pretty good at it. I can conjugate all the necessary forms of certain verbs and tell you which one goes with what person, but once I hear it I am lost. One time, we were doing a listening assignment and we were expected to listen to a recording of a woman's day and say what she did. After listening to the tape, I was pretty sure she had been driving to her sister's house to pick up her garbage because she was handicapped and couldn't reach the front door. Apparently, that was wrong! She was buying a hotel! I guess that explains the elevator, but still! It made no sense to me!
The solution I would like to offer in response to language barriers is this: wave your hands around as much as possible. If I am speaking to someone and I want to know where the restrooms is, I can usually get my point across pretty well. Also, it might be useful to bring up things that all countries share. If I am looking for the nearest Copacabana, I might just hum a few bars of that beloved Barry Manilow hit that changed our lives so many years ago. Another option is to simply yell, "ENGLISH!?" really loud until someone says, "Stop yelling!" There, ask that person for directions. Guiding your way through different languages may be tough but just remember that we all speak one language: love....and television.
Dearest Santa...
I have yet to blog about how Christmas went. Well, let me start with my evaluation of Santa. I'm going to give Santa a solid B+ this year. I can tell that he gave a good effort, but really, Santa? Really? You used the same wrapping paper that my parents used. Step it up a notch. I expect different wrapping paper from you. This way when I creep downstairs, in my jumbo-sized dog-Snuggie, I can tell which presents are yours and which are my parents. Now, I don't blame you for this mistake. I understand that Christmas is a big undertaking and with any big project, delegation is required. I would like to have the names of your most trusted elves and their address so that I may mail this letter to them as well. If they have an e-mail, I guess I could just send them this link. While we are on the topic of elves, I would like to address the unfair treatment of Freddy's employees. Since we sell some of the products that you make in your factory, I feel that we should be rewarded with a certain kind of compensation. To be frank, I want a reindeer. Let's face it, cars will soon be a thing of the past, and travelling by magic reindeer will be the only way to get to my weekly Nutri-Smoothie "meetings". It may be difficult for you to fly without one of your reindeer, but perhaps, if you rethought the structure of your sleigh, some of them would be unnecessary. Preferably, I would like Prancer, but if I have to take Blitzen, I will. I do not want that over-rated children's fantasy Rudolph. Maybe, you could cut off Rudolph's nose and put it on one of the other reindeer. Then, Rudolph would take the place of the reindeer I am taking.
Santa, there is another thing I would like for you to know. Recently, we have been learning about childhood obesity. I'm guessing that you think cookies and milk are harmless and safe. Well, do you know how much sugar is in flavored milk that they put in school cafeterias? A whole wheel-barrow full! And you're drinking one glass at every house in the world! We don't even know what's in Chinese milk! I realize that it is kind of your thing to drink milk and eat cookies, but why not try something more healthy? I'm sure children would be just as jolly putting out plates of peanut butter and celery for Santa to enjoy. Well, that's all for this year. Thanks again for stopping by!
Your Obedient, Humble Servant,
SlimShaney :)
Santa, there is another thing I would like for you to know. Recently, we have been learning about childhood obesity. I'm guessing that you think cookies and milk are harmless and safe. Well, do you know how much sugar is in flavored milk that they put in school cafeterias? A whole wheel-barrow full! And you're drinking one glass at every house in the world! We don't even know what's in Chinese milk! I realize that it is kind of your thing to drink milk and eat cookies, but why not try something more healthy? I'm sure children would be just as jolly putting out plates of peanut butter and celery for Santa to enjoy. Well, that's all for this year. Thanks again for stopping by!
Your Obedient, Humble Servant,
SlimShaney :)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Bore! What are they good for? Absolutely Nothin'! Say it Again!
John Updike, a U.S. author once said, "A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience." Well, if that is true then I know some people who spend a little too much time at McDonalds, if you know what i mean. Pumbaas (this is the name I sometimes give to "boar"-ing people) are the ones who, when you ask, "How's your day going?" actually tell you their life story. Listen, if I wanted to know about the cereal you ate for breakfast or the fact that you got a new bike at Fry Fest last Saturday, I would ask. When you ask me if I like fishing and I say no, stop pestering me about fishing. I don't want to go! Anyway, this post is not supposed to be about boring people. Instead, I would like to share with you all Slimshaney's List Of Boredom Be-gone Easy Rules (SLOBBER):
1) When speaking to someone of a boring nature, make sure to avoid direct eye contact. If you pretend that you actually enjoy the conversation, your next one will begin with, "Grandma did the funniest thing yesterday..." We don't want that now do we?
2) There are several things that you should not bring up in a conversation when talking to Pumbaa. First of all, never mention relatives. Unless if you want a flood of unrelenting questions about what college your sister goes to, it's best to just leave it alone. Also, never bring up activities that you are involved in, favorite food, past schools, pets, or any interests whatsoever. You're only feeding the fire if you do.
3) Don't say anything funny. ANYTHING. FUNNY. While you forget about what you even said, this person will spend the rest of your lives pretending that you have some sort of inside joke that binds you forever.
4) Finally, be nice. Do not be mean to a Pumbaa. Picture this: you tell your Pumbaa that they annoy you and that you don't want to be friends. Next, your new mortal enemy goes to the local voodoo shop, buys a couple of creepy, headless dolls, and commences their ever-long quest to rid the world of the "Evil Menace" (you).
So, remember to follow these helpful tips and avoid Pumbaas at all costs. I'm going to stop writing now. I'm a little bored.
1) When speaking to someone of a boring nature, make sure to avoid direct eye contact. If you pretend that you actually enjoy the conversation, your next one will begin with, "Grandma did the funniest thing yesterday..." We don't want that now do we?
2) There are several things that you should not bring up in a conversation when talking to Pumbaa. First of all, never mention relatives. Unless if you want a flood of unrelenting questions about what college your sister goes to, it's best to just leave it alone. Also, never bring up activities that you are involved in, favorite food, past schools, pets, or any interests whatsoever. You're only feeding the fire if you do.
3) Don't say anything funny. ANYTHING. FUNNY. While you forget about what you even said, this person will spend the rest of your lives pretending that you have some sort of inside joke that binds you forever.
4) Finally, be nice. Do not be mean to a Pumbaa. Picture this: you tell your Pumbaa that they annoy you and that you don't want to be friends. Next, your new mortal enemy goes to the local voodoo shop, buys a couple of creepy, headless dolls, and commences their ever-long quest to rid the world of the "Evil Menace" (you).
So, remember to follow these helpful tips and avoid Pumbaas at all costs. I'm going to stop writing now. I'm a little bored.
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