If You're Happy and You Know It....Eat

It is hard to be a happy person when you are not. You ask any naturally happy person how that stay so optimistic and they will tell you about how easy it is and how everyone can be just as blah blah blah....sunshine....rainbows...blah blah. It's not that easy. When you have to wake up for school every day at 5:45, you begin to harbor a slight amount of resentment. I usually begin the year with a proper amount of friendliness, fresh off of summer vacation, but, by the end of the long, overstretched school year, my ability to feel anything has been depleted. I no longer care who gets hit in the hallway with my backpack or who is below me when I drop eggs down the stairway (that one might be a bit extreme, but you catch my drift).

So, here is SlimShaney's guide on how to be happy:
Step one: Take time to enjoy yourself. Sure, you may have an extremely long essay due tomorrow, but take that extra time to watch YouTube videos and check for friend requests. Have last week's Glee taped? Go ahead, watch it. It was good.
Step Two: Don't smile if you don't have to. If someone smiles at you and you have no genuine happy feeling, don't smile back. Now, if they smile, stick their hand in their armpit, and make farting noises, go ahead and smile....because that's funny!
Step Three: Don't talk to acquaintances. If you met someone once, at a party you were only at for ten minutes, don't strike up a conversation. It will be much better if you merely sit there in awkward silence. Remember, an awkward silence a day keeps potential friends away!
Step Four: Eat a lot. I find that I am most happy when I am scarfing down some Pringles or chugging a Pepsi.
Step Five: Don't eat too much. You know that feeling you get when you just ate too much at Ruby Tuesday and it feels like your stomach might explode? Yeah...that is not fun. And finally....

Step Six: Ignore this list. This is the way that I make myself feel happy. We all have different things that make us joyful. You simply have to find those things and hold on to them. For me, that main thing is friends and family that I can rely on and trust no matter what....oh yeah.....and food. :)