As an arty, young hipster, I find myself often contemplating why i am working. I'm cool. I'm suave. I'm a gingerly stroll down a long meadow of flowers. Since my view of myself can only be taken as "urban", I took it upon myself to look up the term "work" in Urban Dictionary. Next to Wikipedia, this is where I get all of my research information. So, here it is, the first definition of work according to Urban Dictionary:
"A worldwide slave labour organisation used to control modern man and prevent independant thought from occuring in any form. This is the reason it's much harder to make anything of yourself working in creative arts, such as acting and singing - the government sees anyone more popular than them as a threat to their power. It is also an ingenious creation to make placebos such as computers and photocopiers look important to our way of life. Some may argue that the workplace is desigend to build character and learn about teamwork...others prefer to think of it as the perfect place to practise your aiming skills as you throw ball after ball of scrunched up paper into the bin in the corner, then make a little competition out of it with fellow colleagues."
Well, let's analyze this statement, shall we? The definition starts off with cleverly comparing the workforce to a slave organization. This makes complete sense because I work four shifts and slave worked all day long. I have a boss that respects me and listens to my ideas and slaves had harsh plantation owners who beat them. I get a paycheck and they got crappy food. Excellent analogy. Next, we move on to the statement about how acting and singing are hard to get jobs in because the government doesn't like people who become more famous than them. Another brilliant point. I have been working on a theory that famous people don't actually exist. They're just robots that have been created by the government to make them look better. It's nice to know that someone out there shares a similar opinion.
The next line uses some fancy words like "placebo" and "photocopiers" (Ooooohh). The overall effect of such sophisticated diction is that I believe him. I know that he isn't some fourteen year old girl writing about work. Instead, she could easily be fifteen (maybe sixteen). Guess what they do next? They address counterarguments! Wow! I hope that someday I can address the points of the opposite party by sarcastically and rudely stating that work is nothing more than throwing paper balls. Such an illuminating piece of work. Urban Dictionary is the new encyclopedia. In case you didn't catch on, I think this definition is stupid. Here's the second one:
A place where people have to go everyday to get paid. Also known as "hell".
This one I completely agree with.
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