Me vs. It

Public bathrooms are disgusting. Back in the olden day when I was not a checker at Freddy's I would have to clean bathrooms every night. You would not believe what some people are capable of. One night, I opened the door to the bathroom, pushed my vacuum inside, and dropped it. I didn't even notice because I was too busy staring at the wreckage. It looked like a small rock concert had taken place with all of the stuff on the floor and random objects and liquids on the walls. Still, I was trooper and I cleaned it up. Did I actually clean the toilets off the way i was supposed to? Not quite, but I did it.

My main story comes next. One night, I was putting baskets away when the manager comes up to me. "Do you have a strong stomach?" she asked. Flustered, I told her, "Yeah, I guess so. Why?" "Well, we have a bit of a problem in the bathroom. If you could go take care of it that would be great. Thank you very much! Oh and it's the women's bathroom!" I walked away confused and wondering what this big mystery was. I waited outside the women's bathroom for everyone to be done and then propped the door open with a garbage can so they would know that I was in there. I looked around and it was fairly clean. There was nothing on the walls and the mirrors looked like they had already been cleaned off (I may have taken a moment to take in the insurmountable beauty that was my reflection). Then, I started scanning the stalls. I opened the first door and it was fine. It may have been a little low on toilet paper, but still it passed. The second stall was fine, too. And then, when I opened the door to the third stall....THE HORROR.

There, on the floor right next to the toilet bowl was....it. It seemed to be staring at me as if to say, "That's right. Pick me up...if you dare." Immediately my response was girlish shriek and a very manly, "EEEWWW!" I took a step back and then a step forward. A step back and then forward. Back. Forward. Back. Forward. Finally, I collected myself and thought, "SlimShaney, you are a big man. You can stand up to it and be the boss. Be the boss!" So, I took my newfound strength, found some gloves, wrapped some paper towels around them and picked it up.