The Skittles Snatcher

While I was working today, two parents and their young son came through my line. I greeted them with my usual, "Get OUT!" Just kidding, I asked, "How are you guys today?" They said they were good and I got straight to the scanning. One of the items was some Skittles. After I scanned it, I asked, "Do you want the Skittles left out or in a bag?" The mother looked confused. She said, "I guess you can just throw them in a bag, but I don't even remember getting Skittles." The father raised his eyebrows. "Neither do I," he said. Instantly, all three of our heads went down. The child stared up at us with a devilish smile that said, "I did it," with a little bit of "I'm a kleptomaniac." My first instinct was that he was a magician in a world of muggles, much like myself, but he was too short.

How did this kid get to be so sneaky? Hopefully that is not the type of thing his parents teach him. I do not recall "Pranking the Parents 101" as a class in school. Do we just develop sneakiness on our own? Are we born sneaky or do we have sneakiness thrust upon us? Like I said, we can't all be wizards like me, so there must be some sort of explanation.

My guess is that craftiness stems from the imagination. We get bored imagining fake animals ad faraway lands, so we turn to figuring out how to hotwire a car or break the code on a safe. By that definition, female penitentiary inmates are basically one step away from being Daddy's little princess. That tattooed, nose-pierced biker that sits next to you at Chiles is merely a Tom Sawyer in the making. The more I keep saying this, the less I believe that is a fitting definition.

Maybe sneakiness is attained through studying and a strict course load of chemistry. That would bore anyone to the point of criminal activity. Perhaps, and this is my best explanation, it merely depends on the person. If you are meant to be the guy who pickpockets unsuspecting tourists, then maybe you should be that guy. If life gives you lemons and you feel the need to sell them for a ridiculously high price, that might just be who you were meant to be. If that is you, I tip my hat to you, but please, don't touch my car.